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09-Aug-2017 13:31

The idea is presumably to safeguard people from searching for their own spouses on the site - though how a husband would explain to his errant wife how he came to stumble across her picture on a website for adulterers, I don't know.

In order to fit in with the general ethos of the website I have invented a wife.

"I want a man with a personality and looks to take my breath away." These are the requirements of the dark-haired, dark-eyed, 37-year-old Asian beauty who has sent me her romantic wish list.

She seems rather on edge and sends me a text message at the time we're due to meet asking why I'm using the website.

I reply, telling her to come over and ask me face to face. She looks furtively around and asks me if I'm nervous. There is tension in the air like North and South Korea coming together to hammer out a treaty.

She wants instant gratification even though we've exchanged only a few words online.

But in the modern world, in which the internet has become a vehicle for all manner of impropriety, she regards this kind of behaviour as perfectly acceptable.Our relationship, I note, has suffered because we don't spend enough time together (not surprising really, since she doesn't exist).